Hipsters fight Religious Xenophobia with.. bike lanes?

The large Hasidic Jewish community living around Williamsburg was getting fed up with the increasing infestation of bike-bound, scantily clad hipsters, citing these folks as a ‘menace to safety and religious concerns’. In other words, those poor, sexually repressed men were sick and tired of having gorgeous women passing by wearing nothing (by their ridiculously outdated standards). Of course, they ‘thought of the children’ when they were bitching to the authorities, citing a concern for children getting off of buses. Their solution to this? PAINT OVER THE BIKE LANES, and get the damn hipsters off the road.

With the support of the mayor, up for re-election, of course, this was done. However, the hipsters weren’t about to let a bunch of curmudgeonly old men get in the way of annoying the rest of us with their ironic facial hair and fixies, so they independently  repainted the bike lanes. The cops were even called, but they stood by without arresting anybody, probably because  bike lanes are good for traffic laws and safety of pedestrians and bikers.

Note to the hasidic community: if you can’t even take the sight of a hipster riding by wearing some American Apparel, you might want to consider getting a religion that doesn’t require you suppress your own human nature. Pretty guys and gals are here to stay (and I’m very happy about that), so either get with the times, or lighten up. Tolerance is your friend, and censorship is not the answer.

Hipsters repaint bike lanes in brush off to Hasids – NYPOST.com.


~ by Andrew on December 9, 2009.

3 Responses to “Hipsters fight Religious Xenophobia with.. bike lanes?”

  1. Wow… Who’d have thunk we’d be defending the hipsters? It’s actually all this “newfangled city influence” that caused mass emmigration of Hasidim to my neighborhood (north of the city) in the first place! Good thing it’s in the suburbs, where complete roads are a foreign concept.

  2. I don’t know, American Apparel can be pretty damn sexy. My grandmother certainly doesn’t approve of what I wear to work (i.e., “Dana, where are your pants?!”). People opposed to scant and tight fashion would be better off attacking the provider than the promenade.

  3. […] going as far as to attempt to kill the cartoonist and his family in his own home (!?), or the Orthodox Jew response to those F*ing hipsters, or Scientology (which is definitely a religion, haters) buying the Cult Awareness Network to […]

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